


words in my head (petals in my heart)

by Wi_Chan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Hanahaki Disease, Light Angst, M/M, Neville is a Good Friend, Pining, What Have I Done, don't be scared off pls, i think, if it even counts as minor at all, okay but listen there's like, one or two swear words at best, super minor dean/ginny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-17 18:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12371304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wi_Chan/pseuds/Wi_Chan
Summary: Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery or spellwork, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.Seamus' hands shook as he read, unconsciously touching a finger to his lips.Rated for slight swearing





	words in my head (petals in my heart)

Seamus had been friends with Dean ever since they had gotten off that train together in their first year.

Sure, there was Harry and Neville and Ron and all the other people they had gotten to know over the span of 6 years. They laughed and joked and complained together about the Slytherins, but Seamus always felt that it was never really the same as laughing and joking and complaining with Dean.

Seamus often finds himself scowling at all the girls who confess to Dean after only knowing him a week. They don't know him, Seamus knows him. He's known him since forever.

There was first year, with Seamus blowing up cauldrons and the gigantic poster than Dean made for Harry during the Quidditch match. There was second year, with the Dueling Club and laughter. There was third year, with Hogsmeade and Dean eating cockroach clusters. There was fourth year, with him and Dean ditching the Yule Ball halfway in. There was fifth year, with the argument about whether He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was back.

And there was sixth year, with petals.

~~~

"Hey Seamus." Seamus looked up from his potions book, his quill perched precariously atop a blank parchment.

"Yeah?" Dean grinned sheepishly next to him.

"I'm dating Ginny." Seamus froze. He looked up again, slowly. Dean was perched atop the couch, peering over expectantly for Seamus' reaction. Seamus felt something remarkably wrong blossom somewhere in his chest. He opened his mouth to say something scathing. 

_A fifth year, really?_

_Seriously, you can do better._

_Ginny dumped Corner, she'll dump you too_

Dean was still watching him, his face both hopeful and scared. Seamus shook the thoughts out of his head. He forced himself to break into a wide grin.

"Dude!" He cried out, tackling Dean. "You lucky bastard!"

_You deserve better_

Dean broke into a relieved grin, laughing as he struggled to get out of Seamus' grip.

_She's totally using you_

"Who asked who?" Seamus wiggled his eyebrows at Dean. Dean turned red, and looked around sheepishly.

_Why her?_

"She did." Seamus started laughing obnoxiously, and Dean had to smack him with his sketchbook.

_Why not me?_

Seamus' bout of laughing ended suddenly as he started coughing. His hand shot up, covering his mouth. Dean looked on, worried.

"Mate, you alright?"

"Yeah, 'm fine. I mean, how can I not be? My best mate just got asked out!" Dean laughed, and smacked him over the head again.

Seamus crumpled up the rejected petal in his hand and forced a grin.

~~~

_Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery or spellwork, but the feelings disappear along with the petals._

Seamus' hands shook as he read, unconsciously touching a finger to his lips. He had come the moment he had seen that petal in his hand. Madam Pince had directed him to the books about Hanahaki, with a rare, concerned expression and a warning to "go see Poppy". The library was empty, aside from him, and he could hear his ragged breathing. Unrequited love? He was in love? He shakily turned the page.

_If the disease is left untreated, its effects can be fatal. The petals and flowers clog up the throat until the victim cannot breathe. It takes around six months to happen._

Seamus felt like his head was spinning. He swore he could hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears. His eyes shot to the cure.

_There are only two ways to cure Hanahaki. One is the abovementioned surgery or spellwork, which will make the feelings disappear along with the petals. Option two is to make the feelings requited._

Seamus paused, considering his options. Most likely it was Dean. It had happened with him, after all. Dean was definitely straight. He was dating Ginny, if that was enough proof. Seamus didn't dare consider the possibility that Dean was bi. He figured Dean would've told him already if he was. They were best mates after all. Then again, Seamus thought hopefully, there was a chance that it _wasn't_ Dean. Considering the situation, there could be any number of factors that contributed to that petal. Maybe it was Ginny, since that was the topic of conversation. Maybe Lavender had walked by. Maybe Katie had looked extremely dapper today. He kept reading.

_Identifying symptoms are very easy to spot. Petals occur with coughing bouts or may fall out of the mouth. It occurs most often when the target of affection is mentioned or nearby. Many report petals with only a name mention. Unbloodied petals are extremely good for love potion use._

"Ginny." Seamus whispered. He waited. There were no petals, no coughs. Seamus couldn't help but feel a little relieved. He tried his luck again.

"Lavender." A pause. Nothing. He tried again.

"Parvati." Nothing. Not even a heave.

"Katie."

"Alicia."

"Fay."

"Hermione." Seamus began to panic.

"Cho."

"Romilda."

"Angelina."

"Pansy."

"Millicent."

"Padma."

"Luna."

"Hannah."

"Susan."

The role call of names continued, driving Seamus closer and closer to absolute panic. There was no way. There was absolutely no way it was-

"Dean." He whispered softly. He looked down at his hand.

A cluster of forget-me-not petals lay, still and beautiful in his palm.

~~~

Transfiguration was not exactly Seamus' best subject.

Usually, he had trouble with pronouncing the spell. He could do as many complicated flicks and whirls as humanely possible, but it took him at least a few days to get the pronunciation correct. With so many petals clogging Seamus' throat, he silently thought that it was a wonder he could talk at all.

"Avi-" Seamus began, before bursting into a fit of coughs. Beautiful blue petals spilled into his hand, and he hastily stuffed them in his bag.

"Honestly Seamus, are you alright?" Dean asked beside him. They were both having difficulty with the Bird-Conjuring Charm, but Seamus could barely get the words out, not to mention the correct pronunciation.

"Yeah, perfectly fine." Seamus kept a hand to his mouth, in fear of having a few petals spill out and Dean knowing-

"Avis!" A flash of blue light and the twittering of birds drew everyone's heads toward the back of the room. Hermione Granger stood triumphantly, a flock of yellow birds surrounding her. After a few moments of the Gryffindors crowding around Hermione, congratulating her and the awarding of 5 House Points, class ended and everyone scurried on to pack their bags. Seamus hurried on, grabbing his bag and wand, and was about to head out the door with Dean.

"Mr. Finnigan." McGonagall's voice sounded from behind him. "May I see you for a moment?"

Seamus looked despairingly at Dean. Before he could open his mouth, McGonagall began again.

" _Alone_ , if you will please. Go on Mr. Thomas. You'll be missing class." Dean reluctantly nodded, and headed out the door. Seamus and McGonagall were alone now. Seamus looked up nervously.

"Er...Professor?" There was a silence.

"You've been doing rather poorly today, Mr. Finnigan. Do you care to provide an explanation?" Professor McGonagall looked at him through her glasses. Seamus sucked in a breath.

"I-I, ah, I've got a cough. Nothing big, professor."

"What kind of cough?"

"It's, ah-"

"Hanahaki?" Seamus froze. He forced himself to look directly at Professor McGonagall. _Did she know what was going on?_

"No professor, just a cold perhaps. It'll be gone in a week or so, professor." McGonagall pursued her lips, before nodding.

"Nasty cold going around these days. Mind yourself, Mr. Finnigan. You can always go to Poppy, you know." She looked at him sternly. He gulped and nodded. There was a thin, reedy silence.

"M-May I be dismissed, professor?" McGonagall looked at him one more time. Seamus shivered, feeling like she was analyzing the deep depths of his soul.

"Go on Mr. Finnigan. Wouldn't want to miss Potions. Dean is waiting for you."

Seamus turned to go, the last line unnerving him. As he started to run out, his bag strap caught on a chair. A rip appeared in the bag, and blue petals spilled onto the floor, making a giant blue pile of sorrow by Seamus' feet. An inkpot dropped. There were rushed apologies, and Seamus ran out the door, not stopping to look back. And there was the gaze of McGonagall, following him as he ran all the way to Potions.

~~~

"Finnigan, you are late." Slughorn greeted him as he ran though the door, clutching at his bookbag with sweaty hands in order to prevent anymore forget-me-not petals from making their way to the floor.

"I'm sorry, professor. Professor McGonagall kept me late." Seamus apologized. A petal fell to the floor.

"Take a seat, Finnigan." Slughorn gestured. Seamus rushed over to where Dean was waving him over.

"Honestly, you took ages! What did you do, get a detention?" Dean whispered, a smirk playing on his lips.

"In your dreams. She likes me too much for that. So, what are we doing?" Seamus asked, hanging his bag on his chair and eyeing the ingredients on the table. Dean slid a Potion's book in front of him.

"Amortentia. Love potions." Seamus stared down at the book and felt that the universe quite possibly hated him.

"How far've we got?" Seamus peered into the cauldron. It was green and swirling. "I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be green."

"I honestly don't understand!" Dean sighed, tugging at his hair. A little part of Seamus thought that Dean looked adorable when he was frustrated. "I put in all the right ingredients in all the right order! I mean, we're missing a few, but I was gonna add that in-" Seamus laughed, and went into the back to gather the rest of the ingredients. Pearl dust and rose thorns. When he returned, he found Dean smiling at a piece of parchment as he thoughtlessly doodled on his textbook.

"What've you got there, mate?" Seamus laughed, setting the ingredients in front of Dean. Dean jumped.

"Oh, er," a nice rosy blush rose onto Dean's face. Seamus couldn't help but feel that Dean looked so cute blushing. "It's nothing."

"Tell me!" Seamus stretched out the 'e' as he began to mix the Pearl dust into the mixture. It started turning a somewhat whiteish color, much to Seamus' relief.

"Ooh, that potion's looking somewhat nonlethal now." Dean peered into the cauldron. "Anyways, if you really want to know, I've got a date."

Seamus felt an overwhelming sensation in his throat. He swallowed it back and forced a grin. "A date, eh?"

"Ah, yeah." Dean rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, but he was grinning. Seamus felt a stab at his heart. Petals filled the back of his mouth. Seamus paused in his stirring, putting a hand to his lips.

"Oh wait, I think we've forgotten the powdered moonstone. You keep stirring, I'll grab it!" Dean jumped up and almost ran to the cupboards. Seamus leaned against the cauldron, feeling sick. There was coughing and muffled retching and to Seamus' horror a cluster of blue petals slowly sinking into the milky liquid. He hurriedly added the rose thorns, praying that the flowers wouldn't affect anything and that Dean wouldn't come back to see a randomly blue potion. He started stirring quicker.

"Hey Seamus, I'm back! Did you add the- oh wow!" Seamus looked up, alarmed at Dean's approaching figure.

"I'm sorry!" Seamus apologized. "I accidentally added something and I know the potion looks weird and that we don't have nearly enough time to make a new one but I'll make it up to you I swear-"

"What?" Dean looked confused. "Are you kidding? Dude, you gotta tell me what you added! I swear, you're secretly an evil genius or something." Seamus blinked, before looking down at the mixture he was repeatedly stirring over and over again. He gasped, and his hands froze.

The potion that was only a plain, creamy white, now had a breathtaking mother-of-pearl sheen. Steam rose up in a steady, cloudy stream of complicated spirals. Seamus' senses were overcome by smells of home, Firewhiskey, the fragrance of forget-me-nots that grew like weeds in Ireland, and something remotely _Dean_.

Seamus was puzzled nonetheless, and remained puzzled, even when Slughorn praised them and awarded them points and even when Malfoy sneered at them and even then Hermione strode over to question them on how they made such a flawless potion-

_Unbloodied petals are extremely good for love potion use._

oh.

~~~

Dean and Ginny had gone out again for another one of their strolls. Dean hadn't told him personally, but Seamus knew, from the color of his cheeks to the glow in his eye that this was his favorite time of the week. Seamus had passed by him on his way out, hand in hand with a smiling Ginny and the way that Dean was so painfully happy brought butterflies to his stomach and petals to his throat. And now here Seamus was, at the foot of his bed, coughing up bloody flowers. Whole flowers

They had started turning red a few weeks ago. Seamus had a feeling that his time was almost halfway up. The first time he saw it, there was an indescribable fear in his heart. He had spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey had started to get used to his presence. After the first three trips, she had recognized his cough for something more serious, and had offered the spellwork treatment multiple times. Seamus had turned her down every time.

Seamus heaved the last of the petals into the bin, wiping his mouth and standing up. The flowers would be beautiful, if there weren't traces of Seamus smeared on them. He turned to exit the room, and maybe get to the Common Room and play a good game of wizard's chess with Ron, when he saw Neville leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Neville!" Seamus jumped, emitting a sound way too high-pitched for his own liking. "Gosh, you gave me a scare. How long have you been standing-"

"How long?" Neville's voice was awfully quiet and serious.

"W-What do you mean-"

"You know what I mean." Neville strode over to the bin of ruined flowers, crouching over it. He picked one up and fingered it. "Hanahaki."

"I-" Seamus gulped in a deep breath. "Three or four months."

Neville was silent. His expression was unreadable.

"It's Dean, isn't it?" Seamus blanched.

"How did you-?"

"In Transfiguration," Neville cut him off. "In Transfiguration, I saw you stuff a bunch of blue petals into your book bag. In Potions, I saw that potion you made with Dean. I've seen you look so pained when Dean kisses Ginny in the Common Room."

Seamus gaped at Neville. Neville stared back unblinkingly.

"What-" Seamus felt himself breaking. "What should I do?" It came out in almost a whisper. There was a silence.

"Do the right thing, Seamus." Neville said, turning and striding out of the room, the bloody petals falling from his fingers and trailing behind him. "Do the good thing."

"Neville!" Seamus cried out. Neville paused at the door.

"Don't tell Dean."

" _I_ won't."

~~~

There were leaves now. And vines. All bloody. All painful.

~~~

"Don't push me please, Dean. You're always doing that, I can get through perfectly well on my own..." Dean mocked angrily, his head halfway buried in his pillow. Seamus looked on, trying to come off as concerned, but at the same time increasingly elated. Ginny had broken up with Dean. _Ginny had broken up with Dean._

"I guess it wasn't the healthiest relationship," Dean sighed, his demeanor changing completely. "She was always angry at me for something, and I was always watching myself around her. Stepping on eggshells. Can't laugh at Harry, can't laugh at Ron..."

"Girls, am I right?" Seamus chuckled, sprawled out on his four-poster. Dean hummed in agreement.

"And to think I was gonna give her this when we got back to the Common Room." Seamus leaned over, watching Dean as he unfurled a crumpled up piece of paper. There was Ginny, captured perfectly with smooth strokes and dark pencil. A rip went from her right eye all the way down to her collar. Seamus felt a twinge in the back of his throat.

"Hey listen, I'm gonna go throw this out. It's ruined anyways. Be right back." Dean slowly crawled out of his bed, making his way to the trashcan. Seamus nodded, drifting off into his pillow, his throat not hurting for once.

Suddenly, there was a scream. Seamus shot out of bed, alarmed. As he ran towards Dean's frozen figure, he suddenly remembered.

The flowers.

_The blood._

"Dean! I-" Seamus stopped as he saw Dean's expression. He was wide eyed. Still clutching the drawing.

"Who?" It was soft. Quiet. If he hadn't seen Dean's lips moving, he wouldn't have heard it at all.

Seamus opened his mouth. He could've lied easily. He could say that it was Lavender and then he could get the surgery and preserve their friendship. And then he heard Neville, crouched over than same bin. Looking up at him with shining eyes.

_What should I do?_

_"Do the right thing, Seamus."_

_"Do the good thing."_

Seamus took a deep breath.

"You."

~~~

"You know, I've always wanted to give you this." Dean grinned at Seamus. It was a warm, sunny day, and the windows cast the perfect light onto Seamus' four-poster. Seamus leaned over, and Dean unraveled a piece of paper. There was Seamus, captured in pencil. There was a cluster of forget-me-nots, newly sketched in. Seamus tackled Dean onto the floor. Dean pressed a kiss onto Seamus' forehead. There was laughter.

All was well.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! My first fanfic in a long time, haha.
> 
> Okay but like this Hanahaki thing is really exceedingly inspirational wow
> 
> (I personally have a huge thing for Snape having Hanahaki for Lily)


End file.
